Overwatch Has A Cookbook, And We're Making The Most Boring Recipe In It

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Back in March, I got my hands on a WWE Cookbook, and I laughed, a lot. There were tons of pun-filled recipes, and the whole concept was silly. I ended up making a couple recipes, and one of them was great. So when the Overwatch cookbook rolled around, I was curious. What do video game characters eat? Throughout my decades playing games, I know video game characters mainly eat apples, large chunks of meat, or full pizzas left on city streets or hidden inside old oil drums.

Well, that’s not the case with Overwatch: The Official Cookbook. The introductory page explains that this cookbook takes recipes from your favorite heroes from the game and their homelands. The book is separated by continents–and the moon, which is an orbiting body of Earth–and there are sub-sections featuring Overwatch characters, like three recipes from Australia under the Junkrat section.

The cookbook is written by Chelsea Monroe-Cassel, who has similar books based on Game of Thrones, World of Warcraft, Hearthstone, and Elder Scrolls. I am surprised there are so many cookbooks based on video games.

If you’re interested in picking this book up, check out Overwatch: The Official Cookbook, the Insight Editions has more info, as well as pre-order links for the October 1 release. The book retails for $35.

When it comes to cooking and Overwatch, I was perplexed. What do I cook? There were plenty of recipes, and it was hard to choose. So I decided on what seemed like the most boring recipe…

Lentil Soup

Every time I’ve ever been to a diner–one of those restaurants with at least 80 items on the menu, half of which are deep fried–I’ve always seen a man, sitting alone, eating lentil soup. I’ve never seen a group of people eating it, nor anyone enjoying themselves while eating it. What is the big deal with lentil soup?

Since I’m working from home, alone, why not give it a whirl? This recipe comes from the Africa section of the book, under Ana’s subsection. Apparently, after looking it up, lentil soup dates back thousands of years, and different regions have their own variety. I’ve already learned something new on this journey.

After picking out my recipe, I was about to get started. Then, I realized two things: I couldn’t find red lentil beans and I lost my immersion blender, needed to make the recipe. Regardless, onward I went, throwing culinary caution to the wind.

Crybaby

There is a bunch of chopping to kick it all off. Chop some onions, some garlic, some carrots, and do all of it while not cutting yourself. Did I cry during this? Yes, and I’d blame the fragrance, but we all know the real reason was that I was coming to terms with making lentil soup, alone, during a weekday.

Take that, stupid onions

The greatest revenge for making me cry is to be put into a pot with butter and garlic. This scenario only works if you’re chopped up onions though. I’m not putting a bully into a hot pot. You let the onions cook down for a bit while you contemplate your recipe choices. I went through a myriad of emotions during this contemplation sequence.

Revenge is best served hot

When the onions soften up and start to brown, it’s time for the next step. Warning: Your house will now smell like onions and garlic. I would not recommend getting a round of Overwatch in during this time, as you have to stir this up a bit during the cooking process, but you could stir and shoot stuff with your Overwatch blasters.

This doesn’t look good

Next, tomato paste, lentils, carrots, and seasoning is dumped into the pot and you do some more stirring. It sure does smell good, but the second those lentils went into the pot, I couldn’t help but think, “Where is my immersion blender?” I know I had one during college, but that was a decade ago.

Now we’re making soup!

The chicken stock is added, and you bring the whole thing to a simmer and let it cook for a bit. During this time, you can do what I did and tear apart your kitchen trying to find an immersion blender you haven’t seen in the last decade. Still, you refuse to give up looking for it because you’re really stubborn. What I should have done was played Overwatch for a bit, to get more in the mood.

No blender? No problem!

As soon as it was done simmering, and everything cooked down, I saw why the immersion blender was needed. This needed to be pureed. My dreams of being that old man, eating lentil soup alone are crushed…

That’s when it hit me, I shall crush these lentils like they crushed my spirit with that potato masher thing I never use.

It actually worked?

So, it didn’t get pureed, but smashing this soup was the way to go. R.I.P. Immersion blender I probably lost years ago. However, after adding the heavy cream, this does not look appetizing. It also feels like it has nothing to do with Overwatch.

The final product and review

Obviously, this doesn’t look like something you’d be really excited to eat, which is probably why every time I see someone eat it, they looked totally bummed out. However, I was totally wrong about lentil soup. This is probably one of the better things I’ve cooked this past year. It was full of flavor, and what really works is that it was easy to make. I bet it would have been even better if it was pureed.

Yes, lentil soup sounds like the most boring recipe that no one would get legitimately excited about, but I am ever so wrong. This was exceptionally delicious. So I guess, one day, I’ll be that guy eating lentil soup in a diner by myself, as long as said diner’s soup is anything like the one I made.

Ease to make: 8/10

Taste: 10/10

Yeah, it’s true the connection to Overwatch as a whole isn’t as strong as many fans would like, but this is a solid international cookbook. Again, this hits stores on October 1, and you can pre-order the Overwatch cookbook here.

Source: Game Spot Mashup