2019’s Bad Movies
There were a lot of great movies in 2019. From the superhero adventures of DC’s Shazam to the superhero adventures of Captain Marvel to the superhero adventures of Midsommar, there sure were a lot of films worth every moment of your time. However, not every movie that gets released is an award-winning masterpiece. Every year, there are plenty of movies released in theaters and on streaming services that are real stinkers.
That’s why we’ve decided to comb through the worst movies of the year. However, this won’t be the opinion of a few folks at GameSpot; we’re using the review scores from GameSpot’s sister site Metacritic–a site that collects critic reviews–to find out the 20 worst movies of the year.
If you want to know even more about these awful movies, you can click the Metacritic score to check out the reviews for yourself or watch the trailers. We highly recommend watching the trailers because they’re terrible.
For more looking back at 2019, check out the best movies and TV shows you might have missed, and looking forward to 2020, check out our lists for the Biggest Movies, TV shows, Netflix exclusives, and Anime.
Back in April, if you listened closely, you could hear the sound of comic book nerds’ hearts collectively breaking when Hellboy was released in theaters. Neil Marshall’s take on the Mike Mignola character was a bit of a mess, even when some people–me–defended it saying things like, “It’s not that bad.” Hellboy was a mess. It pulled from too many stories and tried to pack it into one, bland movie.
19. Night Hunter
There are going to be a lot of movies on this list you’ve never heard of. Many never got a nationwide release, and some were Netflix exclusives that got buried. Night Hunter was a movie starring Henry Cavill about a detective and a vigilante trying to take down a serial killer. If that synopsis sounds dry and boring to you, try the movie! Actually, don’t do that, unless you want to take a nap.
18. Corporate Animals
Corporate Animals is a comedy and not a delightful animated movie about animals who are into capitalism. Demi Moore and Ed Helms star in this movie, which is about a group of people trapped in a cave on a corporate retreat. Do you like raunchy, over-the-top comedy that may have done decently in 1999 but would have aged poorly? Then you’ll love 2019’s Corporate Animals.
Finally, a movie for the Phils of the world. It’s about time, right? Greg Kinnear (he’s Phil!) stars in this drama comedy about a dentist whose life is falling apart. One day, one of his rich patients kills himself, and Phil weaves his way into his former patient’s life. It’s a movie about depression, suicide, and sadness, mixed with the plot of Trading Places. That sounds really uplifting.
If unsalted crackers could manifest themselves into a feature-length movie, that movie would be After. The film is about a young woman who goes to college and falls for the rebel bad boy who may or may not have something dark in his past. You may think you’ve seen this movie before because this plot has been done time and time again, but trust us, After came out this year.
15. The Red Sea Diving Resort
Starring Chris Evans, this Netflix original was inspired by true events. The story follows international agents and Ethiopians who smuggled refugees to Israel during the ’80s. Most critics found the movie to feel rushed and changed the original story too much, so it would have more of an Ocean’s 11-type feel to it. The only positive takeaway from The Red Sea Diving Resort is Evans’ beard. It’s glorious.
14. The Great Alaskan Race
Finally, a movie heavily featuring dogs, which is also kind of about children dying. The Great Alaskan Race takes place during the famous 1925 diphtheria serum run to Nome from Anchorage, which is 1,000 miles away. It’s actually an incredible story. However, this movie wasn’t incredible by any means. Go watch the 1995 animated movie Balto instead. It’s the same story and much cuter.
James Franco directed and starred in this movie about… well… Hollywood? Franco plays a film editor during 1969, and the story is somewhat a love letter to filmmaking. If you only saw the trailer–which is a mess–then you probably don’t entirely get that. However, there’s an interesting moment where Franco’s character finds there’s a frame hidden in every movie ever made for a larger movie, and that could be an interesting plot. But alas, that’s not what this movie is about. The saddest part is that there are so many comedic actors in this, and yet the movie doesn’t seem to understand how comedy works.
12. The Death and Life of John F. Donovan
If you’re a little bit sleepy, you may want to skip through this entry because the synopsis is a snoozefest. The Death and Life of John F. Donovan is about a young actor recounting the time he was pen pals with an American TV star. It’s a movie about someone talking about how he used to write letters to a celebrity. This movie garnered a 28, which is a coincidence because that’s my sleep number.
11. The Aspern Papers
Get ready for a 19th century period piece! This movie is about an American editor who is really into a dead romantic poet, so he goes to Venice to uncover letters the poet wrote to his muse. There are lots of people in fancy costumes, and we all know that fancy costumes are the real star of the show! The Aspern Papers is like National Treasure, but minus the fun, excitement, Nicolas Cage’s performance, and the Tomb Raider-like atmosphere. Essentially, this is just a movie about a dude searching through old papers in a house. I can relive the plot to this movie any time I visit my parents’ house.
Finally, a movie for people named Patrick that’s not based on an SNL sketch. Patrick is actually a pug that a women inherits, and boy oh boy, her life is a mess. However, the sweet love of Patrick the pug helps turn her life around, even if he’s destroying her apartment and defecating everywhere. Also, she finds human love as well. The only way to watch this movie is to imagine it’s a Men In Black prequel and Patrick is actually Frank the pug. That’s all I got. Family comedies revolving around dogs tend to be pretty awful, unless said dog is playing a sport like basketball. Go watch Air Bud instead.
9. The Warrior Queen of Jhansi
This is the true story of Rani of Jhansi, a queen and freedom fighter in 1857 in India who fought the British Empire’s invasion of the country. While the story itself is uplifting and interesting, those are two aspects this movie did not nail at all. Numerous critics described this movie as cheesy.
8. Rambo: Last Blood
There was a Rambo movie this year? The latest–and hopefully last–installment of the Rambo series has a lot in common with a slaughterhouse than an actual movie. Last Blood was nothing more than a gorefest of mutilated bodies and a horrifically bad plot. It’s the type of movie that ruins an entire franchise. Last Blood? More like “Sclast Schblud!” Sorry. I really phoned in this one.
7. Cold Blood
Blood is usually warm, so when it’s cold, that means it’s been sitting out. This movie stars Jean Reno (The Professional) as a legendary hitman who retires in the wilderness. Wait? Is this a straight-to-video sequel to The Professional? Did Léon fake his own death so he could escape the hitman life? No, it’s none of that, but it is a bland movie about a hitman rescuing a young woman who is on the run from other bad guys. Wait… are we sure this isn’t a sequel to The Professional?
6. Playing With Fire
You know what happens when you play with fire? You get burned. This is a family comedy starring John Cena, Keegan-Michael Key, and John Leguizamo who are expert firefighters that end up becoming babysitters while they track down some missing parents. The movie seems unbearable and many critics compared it to a long-form sitcom. This is normally where I’d make a remark about John Cena being invisible, but I’m above that this year.
There is no winner when a movie starring Keanu Reeves fails, as he’s a national treasure. However, not even Reeves could save this year’s sci-fi drama Replicas. The movie follows a neuroscientist who loses his family in a car accident, so he creates replicas of them. Let’s not talk about a Reeves failure any longer, and let’s focus on the third Bill & Ted movie coming in 2020. That should be… excellent.
Netflix sure was hoping for people to click on this movie because the poster looks a lot like John Wick. Remember going to Blockbuster and seeing a movie like Transmorphers sitting out, right next to Transformers? That was a straight-to-video movie trying to cash in on people not paying attention. And that’s what the movie poster for Polar is going for. The plot revolves around a world-renowned assassin trying to retire, but younger mercenaries are after him, trying to hunt him down. This movie may have well been titled “John Wack: Parabola.”
3. The Fanatic
I had never heard about The Fanatic until tasked to write this piece, and I must say that I need to see this movie. It’s directed by Fred Durst–formerly rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ (yeah) with Limp Bizkit–and stars John Travolta as a character obsessed to the point of stalking an action hero, played by Devon Sawa. If the 1990s could be a movie, this one would be it. All it needs is a montage of a high school dance while the Spice Girls play in the background.
Straight from the depths of the 3rd circle of propaganda hell comes Unplanned, a story inspired–and twisted–by the story of a director of a Planned Parenthood that saw something that changed her. Brought to you by the creators of God’s Not Dead–a movie about how colleges are evil–and God’s Not Dead 2: The Search For Curly’s Gold–a movie about how prayer needs to be in public schools–comes Unplanned, a movie that has a very specific point to make and only sees the world in black and white, right and wrong.
1. The Haunting of Sharon Tate
Two movies about Sharon Tate in one year? What a world we live in. While Once Upon A Time In Hollywood does feature Tate, The Haunting of Sharon Tate tells her complete story, up until her murder from Charles Manson’s cult. Except the kicker with this movie is that Tate–played by Hilary Duff–is having visions of her death. How spooky! Everything about this movie is bizarre, from the casting to adding a supernatural element to a story that’s already incredibly horrific on its own merits. Also, it was made by Saban Films, a studio not known for anything, aside from Power Rangers and the Jay & Silent Bob Reboot. Seriously, I dare you to check out their list of movies and see if you’ve heard anything about any of them. Congrats Saban Films and The Haunting of Sharon Tate, you win the worst reviewed movie of 2019.
Source: Game Spot Mashup