Folks, Draculas are a right nuisance, always getting snobby when you offer them non-virgin blood and complaining about the dampness of your castle’s tapestries. Well, it’s time to show them by pre-ordering this wonderful Vinnyvania T-shirt, available in men’s and women’s and tall sizes!
It’s every new home buyer’s worst nightmare: you finally find your dream castle in Central Europe and are ready to finally settle down with your buxom young partner. It’s a little damp, and some of the embrasures are too narrow to fire your crossbow through, but the foundation is solid and the moat is cool and refreshing year-round. You sign the documents and move in, a new life on the horizon.
Soon after, though, odd events start occurring. A sheep is found, desanguinated. The cross in the courtyard is destroyed. You start to notice a sharp smell of iron in the wine cellar. Uh oh! You’ve got Draculas.
But worry not! While Draculas are a nuisance, you’ve got a friend that can help! Just call 1-888-VINCENT to reach our team of professional Vinnyvaniasists, who are ready and eager to help you sort out your problems with vampires, bloodsuckers, jiangshis – whatever you got, we can handle! When our agents show up, wearing this fancy Vinnyvania shirt, you’ll practically be able to hear the Draculas quaking in their coffins.
I took my shirt out for an adventure this weekend and boy did I have fun hunting Draculas! Get in on the action before this pre-sale ends on December 23rd!
Source: Giant Bomb